Top Ten Chuck Norris Facts
- Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
- Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
- The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
- If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
- Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
- Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies
the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
- Chuck Norris’ blood type is AK+. Ass-Kicking Positive. It is compatible only with heavy construction equipment, tanks, and fighter jets.
- Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
- In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
- There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.